“Your good will be great.”
File Under: “Best Advice I’ve Ever Received”
I’ve been really fortunate to have been participating as a mentee for the Rise Mentoring Program this year. I was tentative about applying for it as I think the program is generally intended more for women at an earlier stage in their careers. But I’m fairly new to the Entertainment industry as a professional, and have been looking for ways to feel more connected, especially with Covid fouling every plan imaginable.
Since being paired with my mentor the amazing Kathy-Anne McManus (or “KAM” as she insists on!), Chief Customer Officer at Avid, I have been kicking myself that I never pursued participating in a mentoring program before now. To all of you considering it: just do it. You will thank yourself for jumping in, and it will pay dividends later, which of course you will continue to pay forward.
I was speaking with KAM a week ago about a couple of exciting opportunities that are in front of me at work. These are essentially public speaking “performances” and as such, they’re chances for me to grow professionally and personally. I was really transparent with her about the fact that I was nervous and uncomfortable about these. But I was also excited, and I didn’t want to let myself down or let myself off the hook by offering these opportunities to someone else, which I could have easily done in the name of sharing the spotlight.
I am a singer and a performer. I adore the feeling of performing. I was on the stage hundreds of times in the first half of my life. But even when I was younger and performing all the time, I never looked back at a performance after the fact and allowed myself to feel it as a “win,” because it wasn’t perfect. Ever. There was always something I imagined (or heard) people were criticizing about it. I have always been merciless in critiquing myself after a performance - and it has gotten so bad that I really haven’t bothered to seek out opportunities to perform in about 25 years. This has been manageable since doing my job well doesn’t require me to speak publicly, but it has also been self-limiting, keeping me from making faster, more gratifying progress towards my ultimate goals.
In this conversation I had with KAM last Friday, she looked at me thoughtfully (across our Zoom connection) and said, “It won’t be perfect. So you should shoot for good, and your good will be great.”
I heard these words and thanked her for them. We finished our call. I thought about those words some more. And again later. And again, and again, and again.
And found myself a bit transformed by the idea that it’s possible to go into a performance KNOWING it will not be perfect, but to be inspired to perform my best anyway, because my best is GOOD ENOUGH even with its little imperfections. Good enough for my company, good enough for the general public, and good enough for the toughest critic of all, me.
Prior to this conversation with KAM, when I have been told “Just do your best,” (whether by myself or someone else) it has always felt a bit like a consolation prize -- that is, “You’re not good enough to achieve perfection like other people are, so just do your best and it will be acceptable.” But when I had perfection reframed for me in this way, by someone I deeply respect -- from “perfection is a goal that is achievable by some people but never by me” to “perfection is a fantasy that is not a helpful measuring stick for anyone at all” -- all of a sudden, doing my best and taking a risk in the name of personal and professional growth felt like a worthy use of my time.
The first of these opportunities was yesterday afternoon. I did everything I could to prepare in the days and hours beforehand. I reminded myself as it began, “It won’t be perfect. But shoot for good.” And I felt my performance anxiety ease, I was able to breathe, and I was able to be present. Afterwards, I was elated. It wasn’t perfect, and I hadn’t had any expectation it would be. BUT… AND, it was great.
How much more is it possible to achieve if I take this attitude into the future? I’m 50 years old, and I feel a little melancholy that I am just learning this lesson now, but also inspired for all the challenges I won’t back down from in the future. There are so many things I’ve learned in my life that I want to be sure to share with my kids, my friends, and the teams I work with, but of all of them, this may be the most important: Perfection isn’t something we can achieve as human beings. So let’s shoot for good, because good is a perfect goal. And the outcome will be GREAT.